Growing Up

I can tell I'm growing up.  

I feel like I am getting ready to move on with life.  I have never been one of those people for whom getting married, buying a house, settling down and having children is the end-all or even main goal in my life.  However, I am starting to want those things, more and more as time goes on.  I keep having dreams where I am pregnant, or have children already.  Just a year ago, that wasn't even in my plans.

I was just thinking the other day how I have never really been "settled" since I was in fourth grade.  That is the year that my parents got divorced.  Ever since then, my sisters and I have been shuttled off every other weekend, four weeks in the summer, and every other holiday.  My dad moved four times since he and my mom got divorced, and my mom's moved twice.  In college I moved in and out every year for four years.  After college I've lived two places so far, each for no more than two years.  I haven't ever felt settled, that a place was my own.  There is something to be said for consistency.  

Now, Chris and I need to begin the process of moving to Pittsburgh into our cozy two bedroom apartment.  If you've seen the house, you know what an issue this will be.  We practically need another bedroom for books, another for technological equipment, and yet another for dog stuff and my shoes :) .  I don't really see this apartment as anything out of the norm, I know that I will still not feel "settled" until I can plan on staying somewhere for a longer period of time.

The other day, when I was snuggling with Chris, I made him tell me about our "house".

"Tell me about our house, "  I said.

"We'll have a garden.  A good garden, with lots of space.  We'll grow corn, and tomatoes, and carrots."  He responded.

"Tell me about the porch swing," I requested.

"We'll have a big, wrap-around porch that we'll be able to grill on.  And there will be a porch swing that we can sit on and watch the day go by."

"Tell me about the hammock."

"There will be a hammock in the backyard that you can lay in all day.  Tied to two fruit trees.  Did I say we would have fruit trees?  We will.  If we live in California we'd have avocado trees too."

"Tell me about the animals."

"We'll have a little cow and a miniature horse."   

"Don't forget the dogs!" I hurriedly added.

"Of course, we will have another dog for Greta to play with.  And she will run all over and have so much fun."

"Tell about the creek."

"There will be a small creek in the backyard.  Not too wide or deep.  And I'll spend all day outside damming the creek to make a swimming hole."

While admittedly "Of Mice and Men-ish", this conversation made me feel so comforted.  Sometimes I can't wait to see what the future holds.  I only hope its as good as I imagine it can be.