Sometimes I really hate my analytical side.

Why can't I be impulsive and spontaneous like other people my age?

I think things to death. Then I think about them some more. After I've sufficiently weighed my options, and make a decision, I do some more thinking. This occasionally leads to me changing my mind, and starting the whole process over. I think that is why I am so indecisive sometimes, even about little choices that I have to make.

Making a decision isn't easy for me, most of the time. Especially when it's a decision about something serious, that will significantly change my life. I can see the pros and cons of most situations.

And, I need to not let everyone else's opinions matter so much to me. Being a people pleaser sucks sometimes, because it's hard for me to make myself happy. Or, for that matter, to even identify what it is that I want, because I derive so much of my happiness from the happiness of others.

Why can't I just throw caution to the wind, and do something crazy?

I guess its just not my nature. Plus, the guilt I feel when I disappoint someone is intense...

I have the desire, but not the guts. My brain won't let me. Am I keeping myself from harm, or sheltering myself from life?

I don't really know sometimes...